Like many ladies, I'm terrified of spiders. When I see one that is too menacing for me to squish with my sh-mop I have been known to call my husband home from work to take care of it. He used to do it cheerfully, but I think this act of valor has lost its charm. If a spider is on the small side I make sure to rescue it, which I hope makes up in some small way for all the spiders I've smooshed over the years.
I won't even tell you about the giant spider hanging out on the ceiling over our bed on our honeymoon in Italy. Oh wait. I just did. What a fiasco. Nothing says romance like a big Tuscan spider staring down at you. Buongiorno!
Penn and I have just started taking a looksie to see what kind of job opportunities might be out there for him. Some of the best options are in places with big spiders. And other pests, which don't bother me so much. Snake? "Shoo!" Beetle? "Ick!" (But not scary.) Rat/Mouse? "We'll get one of those traps and release it in a field somewhere." Armadillo? "Aw, cute." Lizard? "Let's give it a name and keep it as a pet."
I'm the kind of person who feeds the backyard raccoon cat food, sticks up for pigeons and crows, and would be delighted to find a deer or rabbit devouring her garden. I love frogs and turtles. I think slugs are cute. Penn and I once took a field mouse left by a stray cat to our vet, who was kind enough to put it to sleep because it had a broken back. Don't even get me started about the giant fuss and half a day my mother and I once spent to rescue a trapped bird at Macy's. We drove to Home Depot to find a two story ladder! (Luckily someone finally came and freed the bird.) My point is that I just love critters. Even the ugly ones who, after all, can't help it that they aren't cute and fuzzy. So why doesn't this apply to spiders? I guess am just too frightened to be tenderhearted toward them.
My question is for all of you ladies who live in buggy places. I have heard that exterminators can't keep eight-leggers out of a house. Is this true? Please, oh please, someone from someplace with spiders tell me you have a relatively arachnid-free household.
Or maybe you could assure me that a person gets used to Harry Potter-sized spiders dancing across her floor? Kind of like how people in towns with pulp mills supposedly stop noticing the unpleasantness? I would love to think it possible that one day I might spy a large spider in my home and not hyperventilate. I'd calmly capture it in a jar, wish it a good day, and send it on its merry way in the backyard.
I really don't want to let something as silly as my fear and loathing of spiders prevent my husband from taking a wonderful new job!