Hello? Poison Control?

Don't worry, I didn't really have to call Poison Control this evening. I was just thinking about what I would say to Poison Control, had I needed their assistance.

I was giving Nicknack his bath. He was still in the early stages of soaking and playing, when the bath is still fun for both of us. The moment the first sign of the rinse cup (just to get his hair wet, pre shampoo) rears its ugly head the bath is over - at least in his mind. He doesn't fuss or cry, he just stands up and starts trying to climb out, to escape. Repeatedly. It becomes pretty difficult to lather and rinse him properly (forget about the "repeat" step), but we've gotten the hang of it over the past few months.

I was tossing in various bath toys when I noticed Nicknack blowing bubbles. Only I hadn't put any bubble bath. Strange. Then I noticed this, in Nicknack's hands. And some dunderhead had left it not quite closed.

I had no way to determine how much he had consumed. He was making unhappy faces, coughing, and sputtering. But that could have been from all the lukewarm bath water I'd splashed into his mouth, while trying to rinse out the soap. I sat there for a minute reading the ingredients on the side of the bottle. Finally, I did the only thing that made sense. I poured a tablespoon of the body wash in my hand and drank it. I figured that if it started to burn my throat or caused it to swell I would have time to call for help. How I would explain to the Poison Control operator why I needed an ambulance for both of us, I don't exactly know.

It was truly horrid tasting and I'd clearly consumed a lot more than he had. By this time Nicknack was happily splashing away, the whole unpleasant incident all but forgotten. Meanwhile, I've made repeated trips to the sink to scrub my tongue with a washcloth. Apparently having my mouth washed out with soap would have been a highly effective punishment for me, had my mother needed it. Nicknack, on the other hand, has taken several bites out of our bathroom bar soap. Which Penn wants to somehow preserve because the teeth marks are so cute. But Penn also (seriously!) wants to replace Nicknack's beloved Taggie blanket so we can vacuum seal the original and forever capture Nicknack's baby smell. It does smell exactly like him. I think he smells like syrup. Penn says he smells like pineapple. We both agree it is a very sweet smell. I would almost go for the blanket preservation idea except for the fact that we would only get to open it once. Penn suggests we save it for an emergency. You know, like the day Nicknack heads off to college or gets married? I suppose we could just unseal it on special, extra sentimental occasions and then reseal it. Hmm. Maybe the idea is growing on me.

Anyhoo. Back to Nicknack's bath. It was a disaster. He also bonked his eye on the faucet and when he went to lay his head down to cry about his boo boo he stuck his face right in the water and inhaled. Poor baby.

Speaking of Poison Control, this evening I cooked the worst dinner I have ever made in my entire life. Which is saying a lot. As someone in my family used to say, "I've tasted worse... And you made it." Jokingly, of course. But in my case, it's appropriate. My cooking usually tends to be either quite good or quite terrible. This evening I tried to recreate something I've made a few times, Sesame Chicken/Tofu stir fry. I was out of sesame oil, so I just substituted olive oil. I didn't have any Thai noodles on hand, so I used Japanese. And I had some leftover grilled chicken in the fridge, which I used instead of a new breast. I don't know how to describe my creation. It was bland. It was oily. It was MUSH. Mostly, it was bizarre.

Let's put it this way. Penn took one bite and started laughing. That's right, laughing. For two solid minutes. It was so bad it really was comical. I'm making my mother's chicken pot pie recipe tomorrow night, in an effort to redeem myself.

I'm excited because my ladies Bible study small group is meeting for a picnic at the park tomorrow. We take the summer off from our study, so we hardly see each other. I am dying to catch up with the ladies and Nicknack will have fun at the park.

Talk to you soon!